Review: BMS Large Lockable Vibrator Case


BMS Lockable Vibrator Case LockedMy younger sibling and I are quite a few years apart. When I was a teenager, Barney, the purple dinosaur, was a thing in my house. If you’ve never been exposed to the show, count yourself lucky. Because “purple” was a hard word to say, the kid would call everything that was purple “Barney.” I’m sure you have an idea where this is going.

I was a sophomore in high school when my parents divorced. I’ll never forget the most embarrassing day ever in my teenage existence. I had a new boyfriend over to meet my mom. I didn’t want to leave him alone with my mom grilling him. I didn’t want him to feel abandoned. I just had to pee so bad. I finally couldn’t stand it anymore. I got up to use the restroom, and hoped he’d still want to take me out. I closed the door just as the little brat left my mom’s bedroom, a  place where much time was spent going through the “treasure chest” jewelry box in which my mother kept various baby and puppy teeth and heirloom artifacts of decades past.

“Mom! Look at this Barney I found!”

My mother screamed. I tried to hurry up. She and my boyfriend erupted into hysterical laughter. I couldn’t seem to button my jeans. There was a rush to my mom’s bedroom. I flushed too hard and the toilet wouldn’t cooperate. I was a nervous, sweating wreck wondering what the hell was going on. There was scolding and gnashing of teeth behind closed doors, as I ran down the hall to find my new boyfriend still doubled over and red, chuckling nearly to death. OH MY GOD! The brat tried to kill my boyfriend!

No…worse.

The brat had found my mom’s purple vibrator in a drawer and brought it out in front of my boyfriend!

I wanted to crawl under a rock and die.

BMS Lockable Vibrator Case with Hitachi Magic Wand insideNow I’m an adult with kids and purple vibrators of my own and I’ve learned a very valuable lesson from this teenage trauma. A lockable sex toy storage case is a requirement when you have kids. Despite what marketers tell you, it’s not about the shame of hiding your dirty little secret from the world. It’s about keeping your stuff out of their grubby little hands, out of the dog’s mouth, out of the litter box, out of the toilet…you get the point. The worst consequence of having unprotected sex is not STD’s. It’s a three year old. Even if your toys can be sterilized, there are some places your toy can go that will psychologically turn you off from ever using it again, and you won’t know where those places are until you’re a parent.

We store our items in more than one BMS Large Lockable Vibrator Case. It was a hostess exclusive at my old sex toy party company, which is a shame since it’s the lowest priced option for how much it holds. Everyone should be able to get one. It measures 15″ long by 8″ wide by 7″ tall. It’s not just for vibrators, of course, but it does hold a Hitachi Magic Wand. There’s a “shelf” inside that folds in when closed. The best part? Not one, but two combination locks hold it shut. The handle is round for easy grip. It comes in black or this pink butterfly motif. Yeah, like that’s not going to attract any attention. Get the black one.

Now, being that it is the least expensive option for its size, I will say the craftsmanship matches the price point. It’ll withstand some bangs and tumbles, but it will scratch and scuff. The locks are not anything technologically advanced, and are made of what I’m pretty sure is painted plastic. I’ve seen entire lots with defective locks hit the warehouse. Rather than eBay or Amazon, you’ll want to get this from SheVibe, which will replace the defective item and be super nice & professional about it, or go to a shop in person where you can look at and test both locks. It’s not the top shelf of sex toy storage, but if the children do manage to destroy it, you won’t be out an arm & a leg to replace it.

Heads up, though: shops tend to sell it for a bigger markup. I’m not sure what that’s about. The reps from my ex sex toy party company might let it go for less, but they’ll really want to show you a bunch of porous toys and hope you’ll make your friends buy them so you can get the toy box for free. Keep an eye out for sex toy rep going out of business sales, but as I said, check both locks before forking over any cash.

We do have more than one. The original intent was to put different types of things in there and put labels on them, but I’m just not that organized. If you are, you were probably way ahead of me on that. I also tend to put at least one in danger of being taken away from me. There’s nothing quite like the look on a TSA agent’s face when this goes under the X-ray machine. It’s almost like a game of TSA dildo roulette! How much can you put in there before you finally get the asshole that wants to open it and gawk at your dragon dicks?

BMS Lockable Vibrator Case Open

Lets play Name That Sex toy!

Overall, I recommend this box if you need something more durable and less expensive than a bunch of bags, have children who get into everything, know people who would look at you weird if your kid showed them your sex toys, or all of the above.

You can find the BMS Lockable Vibrator Case at SheVibe!

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