Sadly, Orgasmatronics has gone out of business. 🙁
On paper, the Orgasmatronics X2 Orgasmatron shouldn’t work for us. It plugs into the wall. It comes with a long list of CYA warnings. It’s loud. It’s pricey. It’s a vulva hog.
Yet, just like the Ambrosia 2.0 looked perfect for us on paper, but didn’t quite work out, the X2 Orgasmatron was a surprise. The X2 blew us away. Even though it bruised my cunt the first time I turned it up to full power without any attachments, I regret nothing. I have absolutely no qualms telling you to invest in this handheld sex machine if you can and you need deep, powerful vibrations.
The X2 Orgasmatron is not technically a vibrator. It’s a gyrator. It’s a lightbulb-shaped ABS orb that includes a removable silicone skin, easily cleaned or sterilized. The cord is 8′ long, and a wheel box adjusts the speed. The sides are flat to facilitate its attachments. It fits in the Aslan Handsolo harness, which you can bundle with it at a discount, but you can rig it to fit into any forced orgasm harness.
Orgasmatronics generously sent us all of the attachments to try out. Made of 100% matte finish silicone, they’re boilable and dishwasher safe. All of the attachments are named after famous female scientists:
Named after Rosalind Franklin, the X-ray crystallographer who discovered the double-helix structure of DNA, the Rosa is a line of nubs in increasing size. The nubs reach between the labia or butt cheeks. I use this most often for quickie clitoral orgasms, usually with underwear and/or pj pants on. The large nub rests right on my clitoris with my labia majora wrap around it, and I can hold it there with my thighs. I use this often.
The Grace is the “rabbit” style attachment, named after Grace Hopper, computer programming language pioneer. When you put the Rosa on top of the Grace, it looks like a chicken. What the grace doesn’t do for me is hit both my G-Spot and my clitoris at the same time. I can place the clitoral nub against my clitoris and have the internal nub against or just inside my vagina, but if I try to insert the curved nub inside my vagina, the clitoral nub hits my urethra and it’s uncomfortable. Even this way, it never reaches my G-Spot and is uncomfortably girthy for such a short insertable. You’ll want lots of lube if you think this one will fit your body.
Jane’s namesake hasn’t been announced yet, but I’m going to assume Jane Marcet or Jane Goodall. Jane is a simple pink silicone phallus that won’t hit your G-Spot or prostate directly but will rock your world from the inside anyway. The motion of the X2 allows it to shimmy internal pleasure structures, while simultaneously allowing you to thrust. It’s 4″ long and a standard 1.7″ in diameter at its widest point. Harry’s never had a straight or non-bulbous toy give them a prostate orgasm the way this does, and neither have I. Splurge on this if you can.
Named after immunologist Polly Matziger, the Polly is a game-changer. The Polly allows for various dildos to be attached to the X2 and is harness compatible (although we didn’t use it in a harness) Polly is a super-stretchy thin silicone sleeve with multiple openings that accommodate a wide range of sizes of insertables, although some fantasy toys with ornate bases will be a tight fit. It’s well worth the extra expense to bundle it with the X2. Do it.
The Polly lets the X2 provide powerful, deep vibrations to any dildo. This fundamentally changes how we review every dildo from here on out. We get all the texture and shape variations of our favorite dildos and deep, powerful, penetrating vibrations. The first time we used it with the Tantus Gary I came in under a minute – we’re talking a stars-aligning out-of-body puddle-squirting orgasm that left me breathless and soaked:
— Mary Q. Contrary (@MaryQConfesses) October 7, 2015
From here on out, I’m going to include an X2 section for dildo reviews, because I want every reason to use it and it does so much more than vibrate toys that don’t otherwise vibrate. I can angle dildos so the bulb is against my clit and I can clench on a gyrating dildo while holding the whole set-up between my thighs – hands free. Your mileage on this technique may vary – I’m a rather large woman.
Since milage varies, this isn’t for everyone. It’s louder than the Magic Wand, and it’s about as heavy in a more compact shape. It’s not recommended for people who are pregnant or who have heart conditions, seizures, or IUD’s, which is a real bummer (BUT even they have admitted this is a CYA warning, just in case – you know your body best). If you’re a fan of pinpoint clitoral stimulation, it may not work for you. It’s also really, really strong. You will feel it throughout your body, and even in the back of your throat if you’ve had anything fizzy to drink lately. That’s not a deal-breaker for us, obviously.
My only nitpick is I found the controller to be a bit too close to the unit. I’d prefer it be farther away down the cord. Really, that’s it. I love this thing and am trying hard to get the distributors for my sex toy party company to carry it.
We both highly recommend the X2, and if you only get one attachment, get the Polly. The others are nice-to-haves if you can afford them, but the Polly really makes this hand held sex machine worth its weight in gold. If you run a dungeon, need powerful stimulation, or wish you could add vibration to some of your favorite stationary dildos, the X2 Orgasmatron is worth every penny.
EDIT: Sadly, Orgasmatronics went out of business in May of 2016 and the X2 Orgasmatron is no longer available.