I’ll preface this review by saying that I’m not a big fan of masturbation sleeves. I find that, for me, most of them are a combination of a lack of firmness, boring internal design, not enough control, and a bitch to clean. What can I say? My penis has very specific tastes.
However, I’ve been watching Tenga for a while and was a bit curious. Their design team seems to have my concerns above in mind. Mary picked up the Tenga Flip Hole Silver for me for Christmas. It arrived in very crisp, clean, straightforward packaging, with a small instruction book and three “Hole Lotion” sample lubes. The sleeve itself has a hard plastic exterior structure, with three pads to control firmness while stroking. The inside was very intriguing: an array of angles and diamonds and wings designed to give all sorts of good sensations. Particularly interesting was the entry on the Silver. When closed, it has a barrier right up front that you have to push through to get in, followed by wings on the bottom and sides, making initial insertion and shallow stroking rather enjoyable. I could tell my penis was going to love that.
The first thing I did on opening the package, after a cursory glance at the instruction booklet, was to test the lubes between my fingers. They came in the very descriptive types of “Mild,” “Real,” and “Wild.” Mild was the thickest of them, dried the slowest, and was the most viscous. Real, one the other hand, was in the middle as far as thickness and drying time, but was slickest. I knew there was trouble when I opened the bottle of Wild and smelled something minty. Was this a cooling lube? The instructions didn’t say it was, only some fine print on the last page that Wild helped provide “Direct stimulation for a feeling that’s WILD.” Seriously. That’s it: a one liner in 4 point font on the back page.
It was like this for all the lubes – just a little one line blurb that vaguely sexually suggested what they were going for. This was a little unsettling. You see, you can have a sleeve made of pure win and magic, but if you’re not using a lube that’s right for you and fits your needs, the experience will fall completely flat. With something like this, the ingredient list or some indication about what is actually in the lube is kinda important. The dearth of any real details on these lubes made me a little apprehensive, but this was for science! Time to get to testing!
Round one: I figured I’d start safe and use the “Mild” lube on the first go. I squeezed the bottom pad to really feel that initial insertion – absolutely amazing. Squeezing the middle and top pads, once already inside, pushed all the air out and created a gentle vacuum: again, amazing. I continued with shallow stroking, letting the vacuum slowly draw me in. I’d say I was about halfway to climax when the lube started to dry up. This caused the sleeve to make some slurping and wheezing sounds. Funny, but not very arousing. I was going to need to use something else, as it was clear that this was not the lube I was looking for. I cleaned it out and decided to take another shot at it later.
Round two: this time with the “Real” lube. Wow, this stuff was really slick. Short story shorter, I couldn’t get the kind of friction I need with this stuff. It was like I was fucking a toilet paper roll: couldn’t feel a damned thing, no matter how much pressure I put on the pads. Frustrated, I cleaned it again and prepared for…
Round three: “Wild” lube! Now, I’m not a fan of substances on my dick that cause a “sensation.” Altoid blowjobs, warming/cooling lubes, menthol lotion, and so on. They’re distracting, and eventually, at best, I’m just numb and frustrated after a few minutes. At worst, I’m on fire. I’m looking at you, Big Red gum… Anyway, I lubed the Tenga up with the Wild and tried it out. The first few moments were good – just the right amount of friction, and the suction from the toy was just right. Then came the cold sting of menthol. I lasted for about two minutes before my dick said “Fuck this, I’m out” and left the party. I was left with a sticky, Vap-o-Rub-scented Tenga Flip Hole to clean, frustration and a red penis for my efforts.
So, to recap… While sleeves in general are not my go to, this one has many redeeming qualities: firm entry and lots of textures combined with added control and suction that the pads offer, all in a plastic case that give you maneuverability options that soft sleeves don’t. Tenga put a lot of thought and design effort into this toy, and it shows. And as I had to clean it three times (well, four – I later used my own lube to great success), I can attest that clean up is a snap. The lubes simply aren’t all that great in my opinion; the winner ended up being something I can pick up in a bottle twice the size at half the price. My advice: just use your favorite lube and have fun!